Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Basic Bitch

I've been hearing this term "basic bitch" for a while, and see it a lot on Facebook, but since I'm not cool anymore I didn't know what it meant. I decided to look it up on urbandictionary.com, and reached the unfortunate conclusion that I am a basic bitch.

It struck me hard as I was walking through Target, shopping for fall decorations, with my pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks in hand. If I'm not mistaken, I think I was wearing yoga pants at the time as well. Looking back, it was all kind of a blur. I thought that maybe I was wrong about being a basic bitch, and so I called my friend Liz.

"Liz, I looked up what a basic bitch is online, and I think I am one."
"Yes you are. You didn't know that?"
"No! Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"I don't know, I thought you knew."
"I didn't! You mean I'm so basic, I didn't even know I was basic?"
"Yes, but it's okay. I'm a basic bitch too."

At least I'm not alone. I had a nice trip to Target, but unfortunately they were all sold out of fall decorations. I guess all the other white people shopping for fall decorations at Target had beaten me to the punch.

Then I ran into one of my Middle Eastern friends on the way to Walmart. I informed him that I was on my way to Walmart to continue my search for fall decorations.

"What do you mean you're shopping for fall decorations?"
"I mean I'm going to the store to look for things like fall indoor wreaths, and pumpkin spice candles. Things like that."
"I don't understand"
"And I don't expect you to. I think it's a white people thing."
"I know other white people, and I don't think they all do this. I think there's another name for what you're doing."

So what if I like to decorate my house for fall? And I look for fall fashion ideas on Pinterest? And I wore Uggs when they were still in? And I like to wear my thin North Face jacket and complain that I'm still cold? Most people who know me like me. No, scratch that. The overwhelming majority of people who know me like me. So I will continue to be basic, and I encourage anyone else who might be ashamed of their basic-ness to do the same. After all, somebody has to keep Starbucks, Coach, and North Face in business!

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