Laura: New and Improved

I haven't posted in a while, and that's mostly because of all the excitement following Harris Teeter's announcement of Super Double coupons, and that has been occupying most of my time. David has all but banned me from buying any more cereal until we go through the 16,000 boxes that we already have. I also have this annoying habit of getting burned out on one type of cereal, and opening a new one, so there are currently 7 opened boxes of cereal on my counter. We have to put them on the counter because our shelves aren't tall enough for cereal, so David told me a couple weeks ago that I have to finish my opened boxes before I could open any new ones. Of course I didn't listen, because I never do.

David: "Laura, I thought I told you not to open more boxes of cereal until you finished the ones that are already open."

Me: "I know, and I haven't opened any."

David: "Yes you did, you opened this box of Lucky Charms."
Me: "Well yes, but it was St. Patrick's Day, so that doesn't count."

In other news, I have decided to go back and finish school. Please hold your applause. No seriously, I can't stand when people say "Good for you Laura!" Like I'm a small child who went potty for the first time. I'm not a small child and I have gone potty plenty of times.

I went to college after high school but I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I just kind of farted around for like 6 years. It was fun, but now it's time to get down to business.  I decided to start at Durham Tech. I'm going to get my Bachelor in some kind of health science field, and then become an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). But I'm going to do all the classes I can at Durham Tech. When I was at UNCG I had to take this poetry class that I could not pass to save my life. So I decided to take it at GTCC. I didn't even show up most of the time, and sometimes I don't think I was even in the right classroom, and I still got an A. So it makes sense to take my classes there first and make good grades, so I look like I have my act together to compensate for my 6 years of farting around at UNCG. Then I'm going to try to transfer to (hopefully) UNC. 

I found out at my advising session that I can transfer classes from UNCG to Durham Tech. I didn't think you could do that because it seems kind of backwards. Usually the community college classes transfer to a university. But hey, I'll take it. I looked at my transcripts and it turns out I basically have like 4 associate degrees, and I'm actually really close to getting a Bachelor, just not in health science. Of course I immediately panicked, because if I get a Bachelor's degree I have no excuse not to do something constructive with my life, and that's really scary. 

Orientation did not go very well. The pollen was really bad that day so my contacts were super dry and blurry. Like eyelids-sticking-together kind of blurry. So I kept blinking really hard and touching my eyeballs. Then I started to have a mild panic attack thinking about going back to school and I couldn't feel my legs so I started shifting my legs around and folding them, sitting on them, anything to get the feeling back. Looking back on this, I must have looked like a mess and I'm surprised they didn't call 9-1-1- on me. But they didn't, and I got through the orientation, and I'm alive to tell about it. Then we took a break. Or at least what I thought was a break. I decided to go to the bathroom before the second half so I just walked out of the classroom and turned right towards the bathroom, leaving all my stuff in the classroom. I didn't notice that everybody else in orientation brought their stuff with them, and turned left towards the computer lab. No, Laura, it was not a break, it was orientation moving to another location. Then I got back to the classroom, noticed that it was only my stuff on the table, and the rest of the class was nowhere to be found. I finally located them and all the computers closest to the door were taken so I had to walk past the instructor to get to my computer at the waaaaaaaay other side of the lab. Not my finest moment. After the lab part, I flagged down advisor.

Me: "So I farted around in college for a few years, and looking at the prerequisites for an associate's degree, I'm actually really close. So what happens?"

Advisor: "Well, we have a couple classes that you have to take at Durham Tech, but if you have your prerequisites done, you'll probably graduate in a semester or two."

Me: "Uh, I don't know if I'm ready for that"
Advisor: "Well, what were you hoping for?"

Me: "I was hoping to fart around for a few more years"
Advisor: "Why would you want to do that?"

Crap. I don't have a logical answer for that. So, I guess it's time to get this party started. Wish me luck!